तुम कुछ लिखो, और हम वह पढें
गोया कुछ यूँ ही सही, हम पढ़े-लिखे तो कहलायें
- संजय माथुर जी द्वारा
लिखने का कुछ ये हुआ,
की न चिंगारी उठी कहीं और न धुआं उठा
गीली लकडियों के बीच रह कर,
चुपचाप राख बन ने का मज़ा ही कुछ और है ....
-अंशु जोहरी
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Sunday, September 27, 2009
You are a programmer if....
Every combination of three letters is a meaningful acronym for you.
Instead of saying "Let's discuss this later" you say "Let's take this offline"
Instead of saying "Let me know when you're available" you say "Ping me when you are available"
Instead of asking "Any general comments?" you ask "Any high level comments?"
You can remember seventeen computer passwords but not your anniversary.
You start laughing hysterically when the topic of computer reliability is brought up.
You are more comfortable writing code than writing prose.
When you hear the term "Evil Empire," you don't think of geopolitics, but of Microsoft.
You own more than 50 T-shirts, but can't remember the last time you actually paid for one.
You're the highest-paid but worst-dressed person in the office.
You get involved in heated conversations on forums concerning things that normal people have ever even heard of.
You've spent more time in front of a computer screen than a television screen.
Your PC's monitor is bigger than your television screen.
You are primarily offended by the use of goto when someone tells you to go to Hell.
The statement (0x2b||!0x2b) makes sense to you.
You note with disgust that it always evaluates to true.
You think the real bugs have nothing to do with insects or spiders.
You know that 10-9.9 is not necessarily equal to 0.1.
You are aware of many different kinds of beans that have nothing to do with plants (JavaBeans, Enterprise JavaBeans, Spring beans, MBeans, NetBeans, etc.).
You know that Perl is not Pearl misspelled.
Instead of saying "Let's discuss this later" you say "Let's take this offline"
Instead of saying "Let me know when you're available" you say "Ping me when you are available"
Instead of asking "Any general comments?" you ask "Any high level comments?"
You can remember seventeen computer passwords but not your anniversary.
You start laughing hysterically when the topic of computer reliability is brought up.
You are more comfortable writing code than writing prose.
When you hear the term "Evil Empire," you don't think of geopolitics, but of Microsoft.
You own more than 50 T-shirts, but can't remember the last time you actually paid for one.
You're the highest-paid but worst-dressed person in the office.
You get involved in heated conversations on forums concerning things that normal people have ever even heard of.
You've spent more time in front of a computer screen than a television screen.
Your PC's monitor is bigger than your television screen.
You are primarily offended by the use of goto when someone tells you to go to Hell.
The statement (0x2b||!0x2b) makes sense to you.
You note with disgust that it always evaluates to true.
You think the real bugs have nothing to do with insects or spiders.
You know that 10-9.9 is not necessarily equal to 0.1.
You are aware of many different kinds of beans that have nothing to do with plants (JavaBeans, Enterprise JavaBeans, Spring beans, MBeans, NetBeans, etc.).
You know that Perl is not Pearl misspelled.
Monday, June 22, 2009
Son of Gandhiji
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Teacher to a Mallu Student - Who is the son of Gandhiji ?
Mallu Student - DINESHAN.
Teacher - Who told you this rubbish?
Mallu Student - From KG sir, we are studying that Gandhiji is the father of "DI neshan"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Teacher to a Mallu Student - Who is the son of Gandhiji ?
Mallu Student - DINESHAN.
Teacher - Who told you this rubbish?
Mallu Student - From KG sir, we are studying that Gandhiji is the father of "DI neshan"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Monday, June 8, 2009
Whne you need a salary raise....
HOW TO ASK YOUR BOSS
FOR A SALARY INCREASE..?
One day an employee sends a letter to his boss asking for an increase in his salary!!!
Dear Bo$$
In thi$ life, we all need $ome thing mo$t de$perately. I think you $hould be under$tanding the need$ of u$.We are worker$ who have given $o much $upport including $weat and $ervice to your company...
I am $ure you will gue$$ what I meant and re$pond $oon.
Your$ $incerely,
The next day, the employee received this reply:
Dear
I kNOw you have been working very hard. NOw days, Nothing much has changed. You must have Noticed that our company is NOt doing NOticably well. NOw the newspapers are saying the world's leading ecoNOmists are NOt sure if the United States may go into aNOther recession. After the NOvember presidential elections things may turn bad. I have NOthing more to add NOw. You kNOw what I mean.
---- Your Boss.
FOR A SALARY INCREASE..?
One day an employee sends a letter to his boss asking for an increase in his salary!!!
Dear Bo$$
In thi$ life, we all need $ome thing mo$t de$perately. I think you $hould be under$tanding the need$ of u$.We are worker$ who have given $o much $upport including $weat and $ervice to your company...
I am $ure you will gue$$ what I meant and re$pond $oon.
Your$ $incerely,
The next day, the employee received this reply:
Dear
I kNOw you have been working very hard. NOw days, Nothing much has changed. You must have Noticed that our company is NOt doing NOticably well. NOw the newspapers are saying the world's leading ecoNOmists are NOt sure if the United States may go into aNOther recession. After the NOvember presidential elections things may turn bad. I have NOthing more to add NOw. You kNOw what I mean.
---- Your Boss.
U can find this .. but U can't find that.....!!!!
MINDBLOWING: VIJAYAKANTH'S Dialogues in English
1) U can find keys in Keyboard but u cannot find mother in motherboard.2) U may have AIRTEL or BSNL connection but when u
sneeze u ll say HUTCH
3 ) U can bcome an engineer if u study in
engineering college. U cannot bcom a president if
u studies in Presidency College
4 ) U can expect a BUS from a BUS stop ... u
cannot expect a FULL from FULL stop
5) A mechanical engineer can bcom a mechanic but a
software engineer cannot bcom a software
6 ) U can find tea in teacup. But cannot find world
in world cup
7) U can study and get any certificates. But u cannot get ur death certificate
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
क्या कूल जोक्स हैं !!!!
Q. What do you call a fat lady waiting for a bus?
A. Moti-vating! !
Q. What is the difference between WATCH & WIFE?
A . Ek Bigadti hai to 'BANDH' ho jati hai.... Doosri Bigadti hai to 'SHUROO' ho jati hai
Q. Doctor : App ka aur aapki biwi ka BLOOD GROUP ek hi hai.
A . Man : Hoga, zarur hoga; 25 saal se mera khoon jo pee rahi hai.
Ek aadmi ne sadhu se kaha, meri biwi bahut pareshan karti hai, koi upaaye bataiye .
Sadhu bola, Upaaye hota to main sadhu kyoon banta?
Doctor: You will die within 2 hours. Do you want to see any one before you die?
Patient: Yes. A good doctor..
Ekdum Freshhhh Santa Banta Jokes.. :)
Santa: I think that girl is deaf..
Banta: How do u know?
Santa: I told I Love her, but she said her chappals are new
Judge: Don't U have shame? It is the 3rd time U R coming to court..
Santa to judge: U R coming daily, don't U have shame?
Question: "Should Women have Children after 35?"
Smart Santa Replied: "No! 35 Children are More than Enough!!"
Santa Singh attending an interview in Software Company.
Manager: Do U know MS Office?
Santa: If U give me the address I will go there sir.
Santa got a sms from his girl friend:
"I MISS YOU"
Santa replied:
"I Mr YOU"!!
After finishing MBBS Dr. Santa Singh started his practice. He Checked 1st Patient's Eyes, Tongue & Ears By Torch & Finallly Said: "Torch is okay"
Santa: Oye, what will happen if electricity is not discovered?
Banta: Nothing yaar, we have to watch TV in candle light.
Santa in airplane going 2 Bombay .. While its landing he shouted: "Bombay ... Bombay "
Air hostess said: "B silent."
Santa: "Ok.. Ombay. Ombay"
Teacher: "What is common between JESUS, KRISHNA , RAM, GANDHI and BUDHA?"
Santa Jr: "All are born on government holidays...! !!
Santa Jr: Miss, Did U call 2 my mobile?
Teacher: Me? No, why?
Santa Jr: Yesterday I saw in my mobile- 1 Miss Call".
Sir: What is difference between Orange and Apple?
Santa Jr: Color of Orange is orange, but color of Apple is not APPLE
Monday, May 4, 2009
प्यार का टेक्नीकल अनालिसिस
क्यों चलती है पवन
Because of evaporation .
क्यों झूमे है गगन
Because of earth's rotation.
क्यों मचलता है मन
Because of disorder in digestion.
ना तुम जानो ना हम !!!
क्यों गुम है हर दिशा
Because u have poor sense of direction
क्यों होता है नशा
Because of drug addiction.
क्यों आता है मजा
Because u enjoy the situation.
ना तुम जानो ना हम !!!
क्यों आती है बहार
Because of change in season.
क्यों होता है करार
Because of taking tension
क्यों होता है प्यार
Because of opposite attraction.
ना तुम जानो ना हम
Because of evaporation .
क्यों झूमे है गगन
Because of earth's rotation.
क्यों मचलता है मन
Because of disorder in digestion.
ना तुम जानो ना हम !!!
क्यों गुम है हर दिशा
Because u have poor sense of direction
क्यों होता है नशा
Because of drug addiction.
क्यों आता है मजा
Because u enjoy the situation.
ना तुम जानो ना हम !!!
क्यों आती है बहार
Because of change in season.
क्यों होता है करार
Because of taking tension
क्यों होता है प्यार
Because of opposite attraction.
ना तुम जानो ना हम
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